I’ve waited this long to post something about this weekend’s
games because I honestly don’t know what I can add to the discussion that hasn’t
already been said. These were the games people were expecting back in August.
The Brady v. Manning storyline is about as interesting as a
brown paper bag at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited as hell to watch
those two duke it out again for a chance to go to the Super Bowl, I just don’t
have any interest in hearing (or
reading) about it anymore. I’m not a cruel guy, so I won’t subject my readers
to something I myself can’t stomach. Brady is great, Manning is great, we get
it.
Then there is almost-as-tired storyline about how both
quarterbacks aren’t completely carrying their teams. They have running games
now!
A conversation I did not actually witness, but which I know
for a fact took place at ESPN at some point this week.
Merril Hoge: You
know what Mark, everyone is going to want to talk about the quarterbacks in
this game, and how can you not, we got two Hall of Famers battling, but both
these teams run the ball exceptionally well too, let’s not forget. Knowshon
Moreno—that guy is a factor back. He blocks, he catches and he eats up yards
between the tackles. We all saw what LeGarrette Blount did to the Colts last Saturday.
He’s a bruiser. I love the way he keeps his legs churning, doesn’t shy away
from contact. When it’s all said and done, this might be the matchup that
decides this football game; which team can run the ball better?
Mark Schlereth: I
couldn’t agree more. Football games come down to one simple thing: Who controls
the line of scrimmage. No one is talking about the offensive line play of these
two teams, just fantastic. These are two hard-nosed football teams, and I don’t
think that’s being talked about enough in the media.
If someone finds me a clip where this interaction actually
happens I will give you absolutely nothing, because it shouldn’t be hard to
find at all.
Really, with teams that are this familiar, teams that have
made it this far and are this well known, there’s not a lot I can add that is
outside the realm of the cliché and the overanalyzed. If you read this blog and
have no exposure whatsoever to other NFL “experts” or writers or bloggers then
I suppose this is going to disappoint you, however I don’t think I have any of
those readers among my readership quite yet, so it’s a moot point.
You know what? I’m going to deny all the over-analyzing and cliché
that’s been tossed around in the week leading up to this game with the biggest cliché
of all, one that sometimes needs to be brought up when all eyes are on specific
position groups or players:
The team that wins will be the team that plays better.
The simplest cliché in all of football, the least analytical
analysis you can possibly conjure up, but one that is undeniably true. (Barring,
oh I don’t know, say a new rule made up for Tom Brady so a fumble magically
becomes a forward pass. But what are the odds, right?)
So after that cop out, let’s get to the Niners and Seahawks
game!
I have been waiting for this game since the playoffs started…
last year.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I’m going to pull the same sort of cop out
as in the last “analysis.” Look, I can’t add anything that hasn’t been said in
the most obvious places. You want my analysis? Go read anything anyone has
posted on NFL.com or ESPN.com. Somewhere in that jumbled mess of clichés and
overused statistics is my analysis. It’s in there somewhere.
This is the third time these teams have played, the fifth in
the last two seasons. What more can be said on paper? They’re going to say
everything we need to hear on the field. They are familiar with one another,
they know the other’s tendencies. They are both hard-nosed, fast, physical
football teams and they dislike one another. Everything that needs to be said
about the game is contained in that sentence, and it has been said with varying
degrees of length and complexity by about 100 people in about 40 different
corners of the internet.
I will add that I agree with the sentiment that in this game
specifically, the first quarter is more important than in a typical NFL game,
especially a typical playoff game. The Niners cannot fall behind and let the
Century Link train get rolling. This is the Seahawks’ second-most important
game in the history of their franchise (probably hardly cracks the Niners
top-10). Outside of the 2006 Super Bowl against the Steelers, it hasn’t gotten
any bigger than this for them. This is certainly their most important home game
in their history.
The stadium, already a fortress of unsolitude, is going to
be on-another-level absurd, like nothing the NFL has seen before.
The 49ers cannot afford to give the twelfth man the fuel to
feed its fire. We have to come out of the gate fast and swinging, but with
equal parts discipline.
I think we are capable of doing that. We are road-tested,
and we have an incredible group of leaders and coaches. We are as close to “unflappable”
as it gets. We just have to execute.
Once again, let’s reach back into our bag of clichés and
pull out the most flaccid, clammy, uninteresting one we can! The team that wins
will be the team that plays better.
What I can analyze is how insanely tickled I will be if the
49ers do win this game. I mean this in a way that’s ancillary to the pure joy
and relief I’ll feel if we make our way back to the Super Bowl. In a very
petty, childlike way nothing would tickle me more than watching a bunch of
overconfident Seahawks fans walk out of their revered stadium shocked and
depressed, tears rolling down their faces like Seattle rain.
This is a horrible part of me as a human being, I know it,
but it’s part of the emotional milieu of diehard fandom; there are moments of ecstasy
and togetherness balanced by the uncomfortable sensation that you’re going to
have a creepy, evil smile spread across your face knowing that your rival fans
are going to have a hard time sleeping at night as they replay, with torturous
frequency, certain key moments that led to their team’s demise. Oh how tickled
this would make me.
I feel like having this feeling makes it less likely that
the Niners will win, just in terms of karma. Like the negative energy emanating
from me is somehow going to infect the Niners with disorientation and lethargy.
But then I think about all the things I’ve heard/read
Seahawks fans say over the last nineteen-or-so weeks and I remember that I’d
probably have to murder in cold blood a village of children and puppies to even
come close to turning the karmic tides. Those smug pacific northwestern loudmouths…
They did this to me! I am only a monster because they brought it out in me.
Fuck you Richard Sherman.
And now for my picks.
Patriots (+5.5) over
BRONCOS
I’m not laying two field-goals on either of these teams.
Even if the Broncos are better, do you really feel confident enough to think
that they are so much better Tom Brady isn’t going to keep this thing within a
hair’s breadth well into the 4th quarter? I certainly don’t. In
fact, I think the Pats are going to win. Bill Belichick > John Fox.
Pats 34, Broncos 31.
49ers (+3.5) over
SEAHAWKS
WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US!?!?
Niners 19, Seahawks 13.
